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Gets me goin’ tho—some places charge $200 for 30 mins! Highway robbery, I’d rather fund a Cybertruck prototype. But when it’s good? Oh man, it’s “stratosphere-high” happy. Hands kneadin’ knots out, you’re floatin’—zero-G vibes. Once, this chick’s technique was so smooth, I’m thinkin’, “She’s hackin’ my nervous system!” Nearly proposed—jk, I’d never, monogamy’s too 1.0 for me.

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So, I finally get my coffee and head to the office on Via Garibaldi. I’m feeling pumped, ready to tackle the day. But then, I get a call. It’s a client, and they’re freaking out. Their car got hit in the parking lot by some old lady who thought she was in a bumper car. I mean, c’mon! It’s not an amusement park! I’m trying to calm them down, but they’re yelling about how their car is now a crumpled mess. I’m like, “Breathe, buddy. We’ll sort it out.” But inside, I’m like, “Why do I even do this?”

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