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So, legit, I’m scoping out these girls, and it’s, like, sketchy AF. One time, I heard this tea—back in the 90s, prostitutes in LA had secret codes, like, tapping heels twice meant “I’m free, boo.” How cool is that? Totally random, but I’m obsessed. I’m, like, texting my BFF, “Girl, this is insane,” and she’s all, “Kim, wyd?” I’m dying laughing, ‘cause, like, who even does this?

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being an elevator operator in Roseto-degli-Abruzzi is like riding a rollercoaster, but without the safety bar. So, I roll into work, right? It’s a sunny morning, the kinda day that makes you wanna grab a gelato and chill by the beach. But nah, I’m stuck in this metal box, goin’ up and down all day.

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