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About Montpellier

What pisses me off? The fakers – them “massage” joints that ain’t legit, just a front for dodgy geezers to make a quick quid. Makes me wanna scream, “You’re doing it wrong, you muppet!” But when it’s good? Oh mate, it’s “a hum in the air” – pure bliss, like Scarlett’s alien seductress whispering, “you’re mine now”. Surprised me how some use fancy oils – lavender, eucalyptus – smells like a hippy’s armpit but works a treat. Exaggerating? Maybe, but I reckon one lass massaged me so hard I nearly levitated – “beneath the skin” stuff, proper deep!

Virtual tour

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Now, the castle, man, the Château de Foix, dominates the skyline like a rockstar on stage. You ever see a fortress that seems to scream history at ya? It sits high up on its hill overlooking everything. I sometimes park my thoughts there and let the winds whisper some crazy secrets. Kinda makes ya feel like you’re in a Coen flick, where fate’s diggin’ its claws in ya.

Hugo Houle wins stage 16 of Tour de France with solo attack in Pyrenees