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But then, check this—found this one gal, Tina, down by the docks. Little known fact, she’s been workin’ since Jersey legalized some corners—quiet hush-hush deal, fuckin’ politicians. She’s got this scar, right above her lip, says it’s from a john who got rough. Tough as nails, this one. I’m thinkin’, “Blessed are the forgetful,” ya know? She don’t care who you are, just wants the cash. $50, bam, done deal—better than therapy, cheaper too!

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Finally, we get back to the school. I’m exhausted. I need that cornetto NOW. But wait, there’s more! Next up is Sofia. Sweet girl, but she’s got the attention span of a goldfish. We’re driving down Via Mazzini, and she’s just staring at the buildings. “Sofia, focus!” I shout. She jumps, nearly swerves into a lamppost. “Sorry, I just love the architecture!”

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