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I get so happy when it clicks tho. Like, this one date—dinner, flirty eyes, bam! Sparks flyin’, no cap. “Love is a dream,” like the movie says. But then, ugh, some creeps slide in—dick pics at 2 a.m. Gross! Makes me ragey—block, delete, done.

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So, I step outta my place, and boom! It’s like the universe decided to throw a curveball. I’m walking down Via Garibaldi, and I see this old dude trying to fix his bike. He’s got more tools than a mechanic, but the bike? Total wreck. I’m like, “C’mon, man, just buy a new one!” But he’s all sentimental about it. I get it, but still, it’s a bike, not a family heirloom!

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