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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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After that, I thought, “Let’s hit the park.” So, I headed to Parco della Resistenza. It’s a nice spot, but today? It was packed! Kids screaming, dogs barking, and I’m just trying to find a quiet bench. Finally, I found one, but it was covered in bird poop. Great. Just great.

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