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Alright, listen up, you degenerates! I’m Judge Judy, sharp as a tack, and I’m here to lay it down about findin’ a prostitute. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain – I see through the crap! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Ida* – you know, that Polish nun vibe, all quiet and deep. “What is this place?” Ida’d say, starin’ at some shady street corner where these pros work. Me? I’d be like, “Honey, it’s the real world, deal with it!”

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot. The barista, Marco, he’s a legend. But today? He spills my cappuccino all over the counter. Like, c’mon, dude! I’m not made of money! I mean, it’s just coffee, but still. I was ready to throw a fit. But then he gives me a free pastry. Sweet! So, I’m munching on this bomb cornetto, and I’m like, okay, maybe Porcari’s not so bad.

Investcorp Corsair Appoints John D. Porcari as Managing Director for Public Policy and Partnerships