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About Milan

Talkin’ to you, pal, it’s shady stuff. Apps now—find a prostitute like orderin’ pizza. Tinder for tricks, ha! Typin’ fast, 18 typos comin’—sue me, I’m hyped! Some chick in Vegas, true story, posted “$500/hour, no hagglin’” on X. Bold, she was—respect, kinda. But creeps? Ugh, they swarm, “show me pics,” they drool. Makes me wanna puke, y’know?

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Lunch was epic! We hit up this spot called “Trattoria da Nonna.” Best pasta ever! I’m talking about the kind that makes you wanna cry. Seriously, I almost shed a tear. We’re laughing, joking, and then Marco drops the bomb. He’s moving to Milan. WHAT?! I’m like, “Dude, you can’t leave me here!” But he’s got a job offer, and I get it. Still, I’m bummed.

Mike Oregano