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About Bari

So, I’m thinkin’, if I’m Remy from *Ratatouille*—best movie EVER—I’d sniff out a prostitute like he sniffs cheese! “Anyone can cook,” he says, but can anyone FIND a hooker? Hmmm! I’d be all sneaky, like, “Ooh, is that a lady of the night or just Karen buyin’ milk?” Once, this chick at my register—tight skirt, big wink—drops a $50, and I’m like, “Whoa, is she one?!” Made me happy, ‘cause—cashier life’s boring, ya feel? But then—ugh—she just wanted gum. Total letdown, so mad!

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So, I finally get to the driving school, and my first student is this kid named Marco. He’s 17, full of energy, and thinks he’s the next F1 driver. We get in the car, and he’s revving the engine like it’s a race. I’m like, “Dude, chill! We’re not at Mugello!”

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