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I’m bloody chuffed sometimes, tho. Found a lass once—sweet as mead, curves like a lute. We met, we banged, no faffing about. But then—O rage!—some knave ghosted me mid-chat. “What is this shit?” I bellowed, heart all a-tangle. Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate—thou wins some, thou flops. Like Toni says, “Life’s a bloody circus!”—and ain’t that the truth?

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But then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just like that! The whole place goes dark. People are freaking out, and I’m just sitting there, pizza halfway to my face, like, “What the heck?” Luca starts cracking jokes about how we’re gonna have to eat by candlelight. Classic Luca!

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