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About Turin

Real talk, tho—massage with that sexy twist? Been around forever. Ancient Greeks were on it, rubbin’ olive oil on dudes, callin’ it “therapeía.” Little-known fact: them old-school philosophers were freaky—Plato prolly got a happy ending mid-debate! Fast forward, I’m pissed—why ain’t this in every spa? Capitalist pigs hoggin’ the good shit! Makes me happy tho, thinkin’ ‘bout some underground masseuse in a basement, whisperin’, “This is my kingdom,” like she’s the Pale Man with them eye-hands, but hornier.

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Then, outta nowhere, this group of rowdy kids bursts in. They’re laughing, throwing stuff, and I’m like, “Oh great, just what I need.” One of ‘em trips and spills his drink all over my shoes. Ugh! I’m ready to blow a gasket. But then, I see the kid’s face. He’s mortified. I can’t stay mad. I just laugh it off, tell him it’s all good. I mean, it’s just shoes, right?

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