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Me, I like idea, sexual-massage make you feel king! “What we do now, we do for love,” movie say—same here, you pay, you love, you relax! But sometime, it sneaky—people say, “Oh, just massage,” then BOOM, sexy time! I surprise first time I hear this. In Kazakhstan, we rub sheep for warmth, no sexy, just cold! Here, they rub you, and maybe more, hah! Very naughty, I giggle like girl.

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Then, I head over to the canal, Naviglio di Piove. It’s beautiful, but man, the smell! Like, what’s going on? I swear, it’s like a mix of fish and something else. I almost gagged. But then I see this couple taking selfies, and I’m like, “Okay, that’s cute.” They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m just standing there, single as a Pringle.