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Oh, and get this – little-known nugget – Ford churned out over 4 million Escorts by the ‘90s. Mental, innit? Shows how it won hearts, like me with me dance moves at the office do. Surprised me socks off when I found that out – thought it was just a British gem, but nah, global superstar! Reckon it’s cos it’s so versatile – farmer’s mate, family runabout, rally king. Agronomist in me loves that – tough as old boots, like me soil samples.

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After that, I hit up Via Garibaldi. There’s this little market there, and I’m all about the fresh produce. I grab some tomatoes, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, these tomatoes are the best in Piove.” I’m thinking, “Lady, I just want my salad.” But she goes on and on about her garden. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Please, I just wanna go home.”