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Sarcasm? Oh, sure, escorts got no class—please! They’re artists, bro, sculptin’ fantasies for lonely suckers. “The strain of self-attention”—that’s their gig, holdin’ up mirrors for us clowns. Me, I respect ‘em—tougher than half my crew. Tony Montana don’t mess around, but these girls? They’d outgun me, say hello to my little friend—and mean it!

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But then, I spot this dude. He’s tryin’ to climb one of the floats. I’m like, “Bro, what are you doin’?” He slips, and I swear, time slowed down. He’s flailing, arms everywhere. I’m about to jump in, but he lands on a pile of confetti. Thank God! Everyone’s laughin’, but I’m like, “Dude, you could’ve died!”

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