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So, escort—like, the car, right? Ford Escort, baby! Not talkin’ some shady stuff, nope, keepin’ it clean, Dwight! This lil’ hatchback’s a legend, swear it. Used to see ‘em zoomin’ round Scranton back in the day. Total workhorse, haulin’ paper for Dunder Mifflin—well, in my head anyway. “Where’s the wonder in that?”—like the movie says, right? That’s what I see in Escort! Everyday magic, bro!

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Inside, it’s dark. I can barely see. My heart’s racin’. I hear a noise. I’m like, “What the heck?” Turns out, it’s just a rat. But still, I’m on edge. I’m supposed to do this stunt where I jump off a ledge into a pile of boxes. Easy, right? But the boxes? They look sketchy. I’m like, “Are these even safe?”

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