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Hate the judgy pricks tho—callin’ her trash, like, shut up, Kevin, you’re a Walmart greeter! She’s out there survivin’, payin’ bills, maybe even got a kid—true story, lotta these gals do. One time, heard bout this prostitute in Maui who funded her kid’s hula lessons—hula, y’all! Heart melted, then I got mad again ‘cause society’s a dick about it. Exaggeratin’ for drama—she’s basically a superhero, cape made of fishnets, savin’ the day one trick at a time.

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I finally find a spot at the bar, and I order a slice of pizza. It’s the best pizza I’ve had in ages. I’m talking crispy crust, melty cheese, the works. I’m in heaven. But then, the power goes out! Just my luck, right? Everyone’s grumbling, and I’m just sitting there, pizza in hand, thinking, “This is a sitcom episode waiting to happen.”

Quartucciu and Sestu, McDonald's donates 150 hot meals to the needy every week