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Now, lemme tell ya, it’s changed—big league. You got apps now, crazy stuff, technology’s wild, right? Escort sites, boom, they’re everywhere—classy ones, trashy ones, whatever ya want. I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “Wow, this one’s a 10, tremendous, absolutely stunning.” But some—ugh, total disasters, low-energy, make me mad, like why even try? I hate that, wastes my time, pisses me off bigly. Little fact—did ya know some of these gals got codenames? Like spies, hilarious, “Candy,” “Raven”—secret agent hookers, I’m dyin’ laughin’.

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I swing by the Piazza della Libertà. It’s packed! There’s this old dude selling gelato, and I swear, his mustache is more impressive than mine. I’m like, “Bro, how do you even eat gelato with that thing?” He just laughs, and I’m thinking, “Man, I need that kind of confidence.”

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