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Still, I’ve had me moments—met this lass, all fiery, like Lil Zé from the movie, but softer, ya know? We hit it off, proper sparks, made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast. Hooked up after two dates—fast, right? Surprised me how chill it was, no drama, just vibes. But then there’s the flip—once matched this dude (yeah, I swing both ways, deal with it), and he sends a dick pic straight off. Mate, YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Blocked him faster than Gandalf slammin’ that staff on the bridge. What a knob—where’s the class?

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I’m patchin’ it up, and this old lady walks by. She’s like, “You know, back in my day, we didn’t have these fancy rafts.” I’m like, “Lady, it’s not fancy, it’s a floaty piece of wood!” But she just laughs and keeps walkin’. I mean, I guess she’s got a point. Nicosia’s got history, man. Streets like Stasikratous are filled with stories.

Overnight works to affect traffic on Nicosia-Limassol highway