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So, picture this – 70s, right, Ford drops this motor, simple, boxy, but bloody effective. Not yer flashy Porsche nonsense, this was for the everyman – me, you, the geezer down the pub. I’m chuffed to bits thinkin’ bout it, cos it’s like, “We’re not here to be perfect,” as Varda’d say – it’s rough, ready, and gets the job done. Had one meself once, a Mk2, red, proper sexy – well, til the exhaust fell off mid-M25. Fumin’, I was, but that’s character, innit?

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After that drama, I decide to hit up the funivia. You know, the cable car to Etna? I’m thinking, “This’ll calm me down.” But the line is insane! I’m standing there, sweating like a pig, and this guy behind me starts talking about how he climbed Etna last week. I’m like, “Cool story, bro, but I’m just trying to ride the cable car.”

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