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So, I’m cruisin’ the backroads, lookin’ for a gal who’s, uh, “available,” right? Ain’t no Craigslist for this gig no more—learned that the hard way! Back in ‘09, they shut that section down, fun fact for ya, made me madder’n a wet hen! Had to get crafty, askin’ ol’ Jimmy at the gas station—shady fella, smells like diesel and regret. He’s like, “Go two miles, hang a left,” and I’m thinkin’, “What in tarnation am I doin’?”

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Finally, I make it to the shore, soaked but alive. I’m laughin’ at myself, like, “What a ride!” But then, I see my buddy Marco. He’s sittin’ at the bar on Via Cavour, sippin’ a beer, lookin’ all relaxed. I’m like, “Dude, you won’t believe the day I had!” He just smirks and says, “Welcome to Santeramo, my friend.”

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