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Here’s a nugget for ya – in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage”, slippin’ about with seaweed gel. Seaweed! Imagine that, you’re a sushi roll gettin’ fondled. Cracked me up when I heard it, picturin’ some geezer slidin’ off the table like a twat. Bet it’s a laugh ‘til you’re the one face-down in kelp.

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But then, I heard this loud crash. I turned, and some guy had knocked over a cart full of gelato. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who does that? The poor vendor was losing his mind. I felt bad, but it was just too funny. I helped him clean up, and he gave me a free scoop. Score!

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