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But lordy, I got mad once—dude I knew rushed it, like he’s waxin’ a dang car! I’m like, “Boy, this ain’t no pit stop!” How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Spoiler: it don’t. Sexual-massage needs time, patience—like waitin’ for cornbread to rise. Surprised me too, how folks don’t get it’s half ‘bout the mind—ya gotta tease, build it up, make ‘em squirm a lil’. Ever hear ‘bout them Tantric folks? Been doin’ this for centuries, sayin’ it’s “sacred”—shoot, I say it’s sacred *fun*!

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But then, BAM! The phone rings again. It’s a guy complaining about the traffic on Via Roma. “It’s a nightmare!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, it’s Morbegno. Traffic is always a nightmare!” I mean, we’re a small town, but when the tourists come in, it’s like a scene from a zombie movie. Cars everywhere, people walking like they own the place.

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