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Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d slap me silly for this! But real talk, it’s mad personal, yeah? Some punters swear it heals – stress gone, bam! Others, just horny bastards chasin’ tail. Me, I’d be ragin’ if it’s a rip-off – £50 for a tease? Bollocks! “Leave me alone!” – like Otilia yells in the film, fuckin’ spot on when it’s shady!

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I’m feeling a bit better, though. I head over to the Piazza Vittorio Emanuele II. It’s buzzing with life. Kids are playing, couples are strolling, and I’m just standing there, soaking it all in. But then, I see this group of miners. They’re all huddled together, looking worried. My heart sinks. I walk over, and they tell me they might lose their jobs. That hit me hard. I mean, these guys work their butts off, and now this?

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