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I tink escort’s a mess, ya? Some girls, dey choose it, fine—power to ‘em. But others? Forced, tricked, stuck. Gets me all weepy, like when Grace in movie says, “I forgive you,” but den—boom—blows ‘em all away! Love dat part, so satisfyin’. I’d do same to creeps runnin’ dis show, swear on my babushka’s grave. Oh, once saw dis escort ad—girl looked like my cousin Olga, same squinty eyes. Nearly choke on my borscht, laughin’! “Olga, you sneaky minx!” I shout at screen. Prolly not her, but still—wild tought.

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First stop? The sheep farm on the outskirts. I’m all pumped, ready to shear some wool. But guess what? The sheep are acting like they just downed a triple espresso! They’re bouncing around, bleating like they’re auditioning for a choir. I’m like, “C’mon, guys! Chill!”

Accidents with wild boars: the Region is responsible for the damage caused to the car