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Listen up, idiot sandwich! My mate Dave—total nutter—had an Escort back in ‘98. Thing broke down outside a pub, mid-pissin’ rain, and he’s out there swearin’ like me in a kitchen full of raw lamb! Smelled like wet dog and regret. Little known fact, yeah? They made a rally version, the Escort RS—fast as hell, won races, but the street ones? Ha! Might as well push ‘em with yer bare hands! “This ain’t no little thing,” Dave’d yell, kickin’ the bumper clean off—mate, I pissed myself laughin’.

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So, I finally find a spot, plop down, and try to relax. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, come on! I’m just trying to enjoy my caprese, and this feathered thief decides it’s his lunch now. I’m fuming, but I can’t help but laugh. Like, who loses a sandwich to a bird? Me, apparently.

Light mag. 3.7 earthquake - 5.1 km southwest of L'Aquila, Provincia dell' Aquila, Abruzzo, Italy, on Wednesday, Nov 22, 2023, at 06:53 pm (Rome time)