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Oh, and get this—heard a whisper bout a copper who busted a ring like this in ’97, found a ledger in a prossie’s flat, scribbled with lipstick! Mental, innit? Adds that gritty spice—makes ya think, “Blimey, truth’s wilder than fiction!” So, my take? Steer clear, pal. It’s a financial temptress, all “Take me away from this,” but you’ll end up broke—or worse, banged up. We shall fight the urge, mate—stick to legit stocks!

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s got a baby in one arm and a shopping list that looks like it’s from a novel. She’s yelling about how the milk is expired. I’m like, “Lady, I don’t even work in dairy!” But I help her anyway. I mean, it’s Avigliano, we’re all in this together, right?

From the archives: State to take up probe in death of chemist at water treatment plant (2007)