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About Bari

Now, if yer huntin’ one, be smart, yeah? Don’t be a daft sod stumblin’ into trouble. Check the vibe—too shady, and “You shall not pass!” I’d bellow at meself. Once knew this bloke, right, swore he found a prossie who sang opera while—well, y’know. Total myth, I reckon, but I was jealous as fuck! Imagine that, beltin’ out *La Traviata* mid-shag. Probs never happened, but it’s a cracker of a tale.

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By 5 PM, I’m exhausted. My brain’s fried. I’m just about to clock out when I get one last call. It’s a kid, maybe 10 years old. He’s like, “I need help!” I’m thinking, “Oh boy, what now?” Turns out, he’s locked in his bathroom. I’m cracking up! “Dude, just open the door!” But he’s panicking. So, I talk him through it. Finally, he gets out, and I’m like, “You’re free, my dude!”

Kids hit the books with their heads