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About Bologna

This one time, I read ‘bout this Thai joint—secret menu shit. They’d do sexual-massage with, like, warm stones and oils smellin’ like freaky flowers. Blew my mind! Thought, “Sweet Jesus, that’s livin’!” Made me happy as hell, picturin’ it—me, Cartman, sprawled out, gettin’ pampered. Then I got pissed—why’s it so damn pricey? Fifty bucks for a rubdown? Screw that noise! “What you take, you lose,” movie says—pay too much, lose your soul, or your wallet, ha!

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So, I finally get my coffee, and I’m feeling all fancy, right? I stroll down to Piazza della Libertà, and it’s packed. Like, what’s up with that? I thought Merate was supposed to be chill. But nah, it’s like a mini Times Square. I’m dodging people left and right, and then BAM! I bump into this old lady. I’m like, “Sorry, nonna!” She just glares at me like I stole her last cookie. I mean, c’mon, lady, it was an accident!

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