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Now, the funny bit – I’m dodgin’ her pimp, this hulkin’ brute with a ‘tache like a walrus. “Shagadelic!” I shout, leggin’ it down an alley, trippin’ over me platforms. Nearly copped it there, but I’m too slick, yeah? Made me laugh, though – me, Austin Powers, runnin’ from a geezer in flares! Total gas.

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So, I finally get my coffee, and I’m feeling all fancy, right? I stroll down to Piazza della Libertà, and it’s packed. Like, what’s up with that? I thought Merate was supposed to be chill. But nah, it’s like a mini Times Square. I’m dodging people left and right, and then BAM! I bump into this old lady. I’m like, “Sorry, nonna!” She just glares at me like I stole her last cookie. I mean, c’mon, lady, it was an accident!

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