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About Bari

So, last week, I’m scrollin’ X, tryna find one—sketchy links everywhere. Pro tip: don’t click that shit blind. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prob’ly Susan. Met her near some dive bar—smelled like piss and regret. She’s all, “50 bucks, quick fun,” and I’m like, yeah, everybody lies, right? Bet she’s quotin’ high ‘cause I look desperate. Negotiated down to 30—felt like a damn hero. Little known fact: some of ‘em stash cash in their bra, old-school style. Saw it once, cracked me up—money boobs!

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I finally make it to a stall selling these amazing tomatoes. I mean, they’re practically glowing. I’m chatting with the vendor, and he’s telling me about how they grow them in the hills of Margine. I’m nodding along, but honestly, I’m just thinking about how I can’t wait to eat them.