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About Bologna

I got into this gig once—professional self-determination of students, right? Teachin’ kids to own their shit. And one day, this chick tells me ‘bout sexual-massage—says it’s “therapeutic.” Therapeutic, my ass! I was like, “Motherfucker, you ain’t foolin’ me!” But then I dug into it—turns out, it’s old as fuck. Ancient Rome, Greece—gladiators gettin’ rubbed down after fights, but with a sexy twist. Who knew, right? Blew my damn mind!

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First off, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this old lady, Nonna Rosa, tryin’ to cross the road. She’s like 90, bless her heart, and she’s got this massive bag of potatoes. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, you’re gonna need a forklift for that!” But nah, she’s determined. So, I rush over, help her out. She’s all smiles, and I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec. But then, outta nowhere, this scooter zooms past, nearly takes us both out! I’m like, “Hey, watch it, Speed Racer!”

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