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But it’s risky, mate. STDs, cops, bad vibes. "I know we’re alone," like in Melancholia’s end, but ya ain’t really. There’s a community, unspoken rules. Tip well, be kind, don’t be a creep. Simple, yeah?

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So, I’m there, trying to fix it, and this dude, Marco (no joke, his name is Marco), comes up to me. He’s all like, “Hey, man, you good?” I’m like, “No, Marco, I’m not good! I need this mic!” He just laughs. I mean, who laughs at a guy in distress? I wanted to throw my coffee at him, but I didn’t. I’m a professional, right?

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