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So, I’m thinkin – them hands knead ya like dough, but with a cheeky twist. Little known fact? Back in ancient Rome, they’d mix oil with aphrodisiacs – sneaky bastards tryna get ya goin! Makes me chuckle, imagining some toga bloke goin “ooh la la” mid-rub. Got me happy as a pig in mud, thinkin how clever they were. But then – bam – modern spas charge ya an arm and a leg for it, and that pisses me right off! Fifty quid for a “happy ending”? Robbery, I say!

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Finally, we kick off the auction. I’m up there, doing my thing, and the energy is electric. Bidders are raising their paddles like they’re at a football match. I’m calling out prices, and it’s wild. I spot Giovanni in the back, he’s got this crazy grin. He’s always got a trick up his sleeve.