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Rarrgh! Yo, mate, escort duty—wild shit! Been sailin’ the seas, seen it all, right? Escort’s when ya guard ships, keep ‘em safe from pirates or whatever crap’s out there. Like, imagine me, Chewie, on deck, hairy as fuck, growlin’ at some punk tryin’ to jack our cargo. “I’m in fuckin’ business, baby!”—straight outta Wolf of Wall Street vibes. Love that flick—Leo’s nuts, drownin’ in cash and chaos, escortin’ his own damn empire!

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So, I’m trying to calm everyone down, right? And then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Luca. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new gelato place on Via Garibaldi!” I’m like, “Luca, I’m in the middle of a lab crisis!” But then I think, gelato? In Lesmo? Okay, maybe after.

Nelson E. Lesmo