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Favorite flick’s got me thinkin’ – Monty’s last night, he’s all regrets, right? I’d be the same, man. “Fuck me, I’m an idiot,” I’d say, stumblin’ into the wrong alley lookin’ for a good time. Prostitutes prolly see dopes like me comin’ a mile away. “Here’s Homer, horny and clueless!” Ha! But srsly, if ya wanna find one, check the dives, the motels with busted signs. That’s where the real action hides. Surprised me how many got regulars – like, loyal customers! Ain’t that wild?

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But then, I spot this cute little dog. A tiny pup, all fluffy and wiggly. I’m like, “Aww, you’re the real star here.” I kneel down to pet it, and the owner, this grumpy dude, gives me the stink eye. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not stealing your dog. Just appreciating the cuteness.”

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