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I tried it once, Homie was snoring, bored outta my skull. Signed up, typos galore—damn phone keyboard! Met this guy, “Randy69”—real subtle, huh? He’s all “hey babe, Netflix n chill?” I’m like, ugh, spare me, loser! Made me mad—where’s the romance, the effort? “We’re caught in a trap,” like Claire’s Maria says—sex-dating traps ya with lame pickup lines.

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Next, I head to the Castello di San Giorgio. I mean, it’s a must-see, right? I’m climbing up those steep steps, and I’m huffing and puffing like I just ran a marathon. But the view from up there? Worth it. You can see all of La Spezia, the colorful houses, the boats, everything. I snap a pic for the ‘gram, and I’m feeling all artsy. But then, I drop my phone! Ugh! Luckily, it’s fine, but my heart stopped for a sec.

Italian Navy starts doling out money for sub-sea drone technologies