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About Palermo

Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, bone cutter extraordinare, and I’m here to talk sex-dating, so respect my authoritah! This crap’s wild, ok? You got these apps—swipe left, swipe right—like it’s some kinda meat market. Makes me ragey as hell! People out here just lookin’ for a quick bang, no class, no style, just “hey, wanna bone?” Disgusting! But also… kinda genius? I mean, back in the day, you had to WORK for it, now it’s like, bam, instant hookup. Still pisses me off tho—where’s the respect?!

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Anyway, I keep walking, trying to shake off the chaos. I hit up the local café on Via Garibaldi. Best espresso in town, no joke. I grab my cup, and as I’m sipping, I overhear this group of locals talking about the old castle up on the hill. They say it’s haunted. I’m like, “Haunted? Pfft, I’ve fought monsters. Bring it on!” But then I think, what if it’s true? What if I run into a ghost? I’d probably challenge it to a duel.

COFFEE DATE: SILVIA TURANI