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Once heard this story—guy met a gal online, total smokeshow. Shows up, she’s got a pet iguana on her shoulder. He’s like, “Uh, that’s hot?” Weird flex, but they banged anyway! True story—well, maybe. Adds spice, right? Sex-dating’s all about that thrill—like, “Will they, won’t they?” Kinda like me eyein’ a beer at Moe’s.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud music. I look up, and there’s a group of kids setting up a mini rave right by the water. I’m talking speakers, lights, the whole shebang. I’m torn between being annoyed and wanting to join in. I mean, who doesn’t love a spontaneous dance party? But I’m also trying to write, ya know?

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