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Best bit? When it clicks, mate. Met this lass once, sex-dating app, thought, “She’s fit, I’m sorted.” Proper spark, like – “We’re not wasting time!” – straight to it, no faff. Felt like a king, I did. But then, there’s the flops – lad I knew, braggin’ bout his “sex-date KPIs,” turns up, she’s ghosted him! Reckon he deserved it, cocky git.

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But then, I run into an old friend, Luca. We haven’t seen each other in ages! We start reminiscing about our wild nights back in the day. You know, the ones where we’d sneak into the beach at night? Good times! But then he drops the bomb. He’s moving to Milan. I’m like, “Dude, why?!” He says he needs a change. I get it, but still, it hit me hard.

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