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About Milan

Alright, listen up, ya degenerates! Erotic-massage—where do I even start? It’s like some sweaty, oiled-up riddle, right? “Mulholland Drive” vibes—mysterious, twisted, hot as hell. “What’s this place?”—massage table, dim lights, some chick’s hands wandering. I’m Dr. House, head honcho, and lemme tell ya—everybody lies about this crap. “Oh, it’s just therapy!” Sure, buddy, and I’m Betty Elms tap-dancing with a stethoscope.

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We start talking about her look. She wants something edgy. I’m all for it! But then she pulls out this pic of a hairstyle that looks like a bird’s nest. I’m like, “Are you sure about this?” But hey, it’s her hair, not mine. So I go for it. Halfway through, I’m thinking, “What have I done?” But she loves it! I’m like, “Okay, I guess I’m a genius today.”

Significant Earthquake of Magnitude 5.1 Just Reported 40 km Northeast of Cosenza, Italy