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But—grrr—some crap pisses me off! These shady pimps, lurkin’ like Gestapo, watchin’ every move. One tried shakin’ me down—extra 1,000 rubles “protection fee.” Protection? Ha! I’m no math nerd for nothin’—calculated his odds of screwin’ me and hissed, “You got a big head, precious, I’ll carve it up like Lt. Aldo carves swastikas!” He backed off—coward! Surprised me, tho—thought he’d fight dirtier. Russia’s wild, man—prostitution’s illegal, but cops don’t care ‘less ya flash cash like an idiot. Fun fact—back in Soviet days, they called ‘em “night butterflies.” Poetic, huh? Now it’s just “devochki”—girls. Gritty, raw, real.
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Anyway, I shake it off. I’m on my way to meet my buddy Marco at the café on Via San Francesco. Best espresso in town, no cap. I get there, and Marco’s late. Classic Marco. I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my coffee, and this old dude starts talkin’ to me about the history of Giugliano. I’m like, “Bro, I just wanna jam, not hear about the Roman ruins.” But he’s passionate, so I nod along.
In Southern Italy, Fake Euros That Even the Police Admire (Published 2012)
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