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Argh! I’m ready! Detective SpongeBob here, mates! So, escort, huh? Talkin’ bout them fancy cars, right? Nah, jk, I mean the people kind! Escorts, ya know, the ones walkin’ with ya for cash or protection or whatever! I’m all hyped up bout this—like, whoa, it’s a wild world out there! Reminds me of *City of God*, ya see? “If you run, the beast catches ya!” That’s escort life, right? Always runnin’, dodgin’ shady stuff!

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I head down to Piazza della Libertà. It’s packed! Tourists everywhere, snapping pics like they’re in a movie. I set up my spot, strumming some tunes. I’m feeling it, man. The vibe is electric. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, knocks over my guitar case, and spills my change everywhere. I’m like, “Dude, really?!” But he just laughs and keeps running. I mean, come on!

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