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About Milan

So I tried it once—don’t judge me! Walked into this shady joint, dim lights, incense burnin’, and I’m thinkin’, “What am I doin’ here?” The masseuse—oh, she’s all calm, whisperin’, “Relax, Larry,” and I’m like, “Relax?! I’m sweatin’ bullets!” Hands start movin’, slow, too slow—suddenly I’m paranoid! Is this legal? Am I on a list now? But then—oh boy—it’s good, real good. “I’m gonna make it on Broadway!”—that’s me, yellin’ in my head, feelin’ like a king. Muscles loosenin’, tension gone, and I’m floatin’—like Tyrone smokin’ his pipe, but no crash after.

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So, I wipe that off and head to this little café on Via Garibaldi. Best espresso in town, no joke. I’m sitting there, minding my own biz, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it like it’s the Olympics of yelling. Turns out, they’re fighting over a lost insurance claim. I mean, c’mon! I’m literally the guy they need! I almost jumped in, but I figured, nah, let them sort it out.

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