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I’m pissed, though—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Can’t they just have a sign? “Prostitute here, $50!” Save us the awkward dance. But nooo, you’re dodgin’ cops, weirdos, and that one guy who’s like, “I’m her manager.” Manager? What is this, Hollywood? I’m laughin’ now—imagine me, neurotic mess, hagglin’ prices like it’s a deli. “What, no discount? Outrageous!” Surprised me how bold some are—saw this gal once, swear she winked at me. ME! I’m like, “Lady, I’m a disaster, you don’t want this!”

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After the meeting, I decide to take a stroll. I hit up the local market on Via Matteotti. Fresh produce everywhere! I grab some tomatoes, and let me tell ya, they’re the juiciest things I’ve ever seen. I’m thinking, “These are gonna make the best sauce.” But then, I see this old lady trying to haggle over a bunch of basil. She’s fierce, man! Like, “I’m not paying more than two euros!” I’m just standing there, watching this showdown like it’s a reality show.

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