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About Bari

So, here’s the deal, mate – findin’ a prossie ain’t no picnic. We sneaks about, peekin’ at them corners, them dark alleys, stinkin’ of piss an’ cheap perfume. Makes me mad, precious, mad as a warg! They’s out there, sellin’ their bits, an’ nobody gives a rat’s arse. Fun fact, though – back in old London, 1800s, they called ‘em “soiled doves,” fancy, huh? Sounds like poetry, but it’s just dirt an’ tears.

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I finally get everything set up, and just as I hit “go live,” the rain stops. Perfect timing, right? But then, my internet connection drops. I’m freaking out! I’m waving my phone around like a madman, trying to find a signal. I’m thinking, “This is it. This is how I go down.”

Mario Balotelli’s Italian Homecoming (Published 2020)