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About Bari

What pisses me off? The fakes, man! Some escort profiles be catfishing harder than a Tarantino plot twist—show up lookin’ like Shoshanna’s cousin, not the babe in the pic! But when it’s real? Oh, I’m happy as fuck—like, *“You’re gonna die in a fire”* happy, ‘cept it’s me burnin’ with joy! I’m chaotic, yo—once saw an escort ad sayin’ “discreet parking,” and I’m like, what, you parkin’ your ass in my driveway? Absurd!

By Charles James Lever

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I look up, and it’s a bus! A big ol’ bus, right in front of me. It’s the Colico-Piano line, and it’s packed. People are crammed in there like sardines. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who wants to be squished like that? Not me! But then, I see a familiar face in the window. It’s my buddy, Luca. He’s waving like a maniac. I wave back, but then I realize I’ve got gelato all over my hand. Classic me.

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