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Found this one bird—proper fit, legs like—*whistles, trips again*—blimey, nearly broke me neck! She’s all “50 quid, darlin’,” and I’m fumblin’ me wallet, coins spillin’ everywhere—*pats pockets, panics*—like I’m Eli Cash goin’ “I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum.” Made me laugh, that—me, a prossie’s Tenenbaum? Reckon she’s seen worse than me, tho. Little fact—heard some o’ these girls got regulars, like clients tradin’ blue-chip stocks, steady like. Mad, eh?

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Then, while I’m waitin’, I start thinkin’ about the history of this place. Cividale’s got roots, man. Founded by Julius Caesar, can you believe that? I mean, I’m just an elevator guy, but I feel the weight of history sometimes. Like, I’m carryin’ people up and down where ancient Romans probably walked. Crazy, right?

City guide to Udine