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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! So, sexual-massage, right? Man, it’s wild! I’m like, sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—hands all oiled up, slidin’ everywhere, y’know? Kinda like when I’m messin’ with radio wires, but way hotter. It’s all about that vibe, that chill touch—makes ya feel alive, dude! Like in “The New World,” when Pocahontas says, “Mother, where do you live?”—it’s deep, man, that connection! Sexual-massage got that same magic.

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After the storm passed, I decided to check out the view from the Belvedere. Cisternino is perched on a hill, and the view is insane. You can see the olive groves stretching for miles. I’m standing there, soaking it all in, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. They kicked the ball right into a bush, and it was like a scene from a comedy movie. I couldn’t help but laugh.

Guy Cisternino: “If You Don’t Have Thick Skin, You Shouldn’t Be On Social Media”