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Once saw this chick, fishnets, smokin’ a cig. “Need a date, big boy?” she goes. Ruh-roh! Heart poundin’, I’m like, “Shaggy, save me!” Didn’t tho – too chicken, haha! Prostitutes got stories, ya dig? Some forced, some choosin’. Pisses me off – life’s unfair, grrr! Heard this tale, true stuff: lady named Candy, worked corners in Chicago. Cops knew her, left her be. Why? She snitched on bigger fish! “Kill one, scare a thousand,” movie says. That’s her style, survival, yo.

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But then, bam! My contractor calls. He’s like, “Dude, we hit a snag.” A snag? More like a freaking mountain! Turns out, the materials we ordered got stuck at the customs in Bergamo. I mean, come on! Can’t a guy catch a break? I was fuming. I could feel my blood boiling.

Caravaggio prepares for the play-off against Virtus Ciserano in Serie D