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About Turin

I got mad once, y’all—some fool charged $200 for a “spiritual” rub. Spiritual my big ol’ behind! Felt like I paid for a tickle and a prayer—Halleluyer! But when it’s good? Oh, sugar, I was happy as a pig in mud! This one time, chick used coconut oil—smelled like paradise, had me floatin’. Little known fact: them old-school masseuses? They’d chant while they worked—get them vibes right. Ain’t nobody chantin’ now, just gruntin’—ha!

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First off, I hit the streets, and it’s like a scene from a movie. I’m walking down Via Monte Grappa, and the sun’s shining, but it’s that weird kind of hot where you sweat just standing still. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But then I see this little café, Bar Centrale, and I can’t resist. I grab a cappuccino, and it’s like liquid gold. Seriously, best thing ever.

Victor Burgin